i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Randomize