I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
