Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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