I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
