Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
