Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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