his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
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He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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