Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
3 2 1 whiskey
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
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