He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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