i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
