The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
