the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
