he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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