If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I look better un-naked...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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