Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I love you.
Bad choice
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
