you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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