they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
