Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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