Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
