Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Randomize
