Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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