Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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