If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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