You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
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The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
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We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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