I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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