Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
