So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize