What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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