It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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