Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize