Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
soo... how was my night?
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