The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
