Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
