apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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