the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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