I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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