what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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