Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize