went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize