My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
