Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
