I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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