He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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