Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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