Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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