Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
