More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
