Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
