5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
