Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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