awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I want to walk on stilts...naked
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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