3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
