I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just gargled with NyQuil
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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