hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching her eat just hurts me
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
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