She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I want a musical about memes.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
