Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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