This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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