She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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