Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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