Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
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