I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
There are leaves in my underwear?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
