Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
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