I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
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What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels