all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.