it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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